I am searching for wellness, somewhere I’ve lost it.

I am in that awkward stage between jail bait and cougar, though I’m not sure either term could ever apply to me. I am married with four children, two from my previous marriage, a cat, and a dog.  I work, sometimes at two jobs, own a house with suites, which my husband thankfully landlords.  I have my high-school diploma, Bachelor’s degree, and Master’s degree, and I have always achieved at the highest level.  When I try to learn something new, I do so easily.  I play many instruments, but have mastered none.  I enjoy sports and fitness, but I don’t make the time for it.  There is nothing that I think I can’t do. I have suffered with depression, sometimes severely, for my entire adult life.

I find myself now, struggling with mood, self-loathing, temper, motivation.  I am confident that I have the potential to achieve great health and happiness, but I feel stuck in an obese, inflamed, sick body. My youngest is now a toddler, who drinks milk only from a cup.  My body is mine again, and I am searching for wellness.

Juicing, using essential oils, creating art, writing, eating for life instead of for comfort. These are my goals.  Running, pilates, yoga?, tennis even.  These are also a part of the whole wellness that I pursue.  And I’m open to suggestions. 😉

In this story, the part of my husband will be played by Lion.  My two youngest are Bear, the baby, and Monkey, the little boy.  My oldest are Dolphin, my tweenaged girl, and Fox, my pre-teen, precocious boy.

My bestie is Red Bird, and her son is Turtle.  My other bestie is Bee, who works as hard as one.

Dove is my mom and Goat is my dad.  As more play a part, I will name them here.

I haven’t found myself yet.


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